Wednesday, May 2, 2012

best of the blotter: Zombies, Cookie Thieves, Law and Order, and Get Off My Lawn

SUSPICIOUS PERSON, BETA DRIVE: The suspected cookie thief returned once again to the Hilton Garden Inn April 27. This time he reportedly stole candy from the lobby before leaving.

THEFT, DETROIT ROAD: Two Cleveland men, both age 26, and a Euclid man, 54, face charges after police said they stole $856 in toiletries and other merchandise April 28 from a drug store. Employees called police after two of the suspects set off an anti-theft alarm while running from the store. The men were stopped on Crocker Road. One Cleveland man and the Euclid man were charged with theft. The other Cleveland man was charged with complicity as he drove, but did not enter the store. The driver is also wanted by Seven Hills police. The driver later told police that he was “used like a tool” by his accomplices. The Euclid man asserted his right to remain silent because “I watch Law and Order.”

COMPLAINT, LAKE AVENUE: A resident called the police to report that two men walking on the street were holding signs that read: “Call me.”
An officer explained that it was a group of St. Edward students promoting a mattress sale.
They were advised to stay out of the street.

NEIGHBOR TROUBLE, ALBION ROAD: A woman called to report that her neighbor had yelled at her husband after being hit with grass clippings.
The neighbor had originally headed to the woman’s house to complain about gravel and grass in her ditch from winter plowing. The couple’s son was cutting grass and grass clippings were blown onto the neighbor.
The woman was not injured. Everyone involved was advised to stay off each other’s property.

COMPLAINT, DETROIT AVENUE: Disturbed by a group of people dressed in Gothic clothing in the middle of the street, a caller reported them to the police, saying that they were blocking traffic.
The group was with the ninth annual Old School Sinema Zombie Walk and they were on the sidewalk, according to the responding officer.


  1. They were blocking pedestrian traffic. I know that's a crime because I watch T.J. Hooker.

    Is that getoffmylawn squared because it's literal and figurative and if so, do they tear a hole in space-time?

  2. Hey what about those Clevelanders who were stupid enough to think they could tell everybody what they were up to when they wanted to blow up that bridge and get away with it.

    Facebook and other social media are taking us further down the slippery slope to the surveillance society.

  3. Oh Jim,
    of course there's that classic instigating informer angle to this and the timing just seemed a bit too well-played. That being said, I've got no patience for ideological pyros or those who seek to discredit the masses getting uppity.

    One of my acquaintance is dating the supposed "mastermind" which means this is hitting quite close to home. If I was going to take down The Man (which I'm not at this point in life), I really wouldn't have all my info and political leanings advertised on a social media site with dubious regard to privacy. I really don't get that.

    That being said, I think you're right. It's really easy to take away the right to privacy if the people are all too happy to give it away already.

  4. "discredit the masses getting uppity": DING DING DING I believe we have a winner! Best phrase I've read all day.