Monday, January 28, 2013

the eternal cycle

The dog I'm watching is nearing the end of his life, blind in one eye, almost blind in the other, he bumps into things sometimes, and while he was once so assertive, he seems lost and has grown stubborn as if he knows he's only got so long to get what he wants. Last night he sprawled across my lap and cuddled with me and he shivers now. Even though the apartment is kept warm, my hands are too cold for him.

and it seems that the marital bonds of my friends are fraying quickly if they haven't already, all over it seems like this. Some still ask if I want to be with someone and I look at what they're in and wouldn't want that for the world. I avoid people who want to talk about this because it's boring and I feel embarrassed at their vulnerability, maybe because I don't want to be that way someday. Maybe I'd be more jealous if I saw more instances of bliss, but I don't. 

It's probably boring for you to read about too, and I kind of want this day to be over so I can go back to the place I'm staying and drink some tea and do my homework. It just feels like a good day to hermit.

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