Tuesday, August 7, 2012

best of the blotter updated: first world problems, thinking of The Children, and groundhogs

 CRIMINAL DAMAGING, TALLY HO: A man reported his son was breaking items inside their home. He threw a crock pot through a wall and damaged a stool. The son was mad because one of his silk shirts was not properly laundered.

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, PEARL ROAD: A Dunkin’ Donuts employee called police around 9:30 p.m. Aug. 3 when they noticed four teenagers were hiding by the dumpster behind the restaurant.
Turns out a young, romantic, Brunswick man had put flowers on his girlfriend’s car. He was hiding to surprise her.

SUSPICIOUS SITUATION, NIAGARA DRIVE: A woman called police after she and her friends had gotten a cab ride home at 1:30 a.m. Aug. 4, and the cab driver refused to leave and was banging on their door. While police were responding, the woman called back to say the driver had left. She said they paid their fare, and the man was acting strange.
Police contacted the man, who admitted to driving the girls, but refused to give his name and referred to himself as “Cleveland Johnny.”

LOITERING, PEARL ROAD: More fast food drama, as employees at Wendy’s were nervous about the “20-25 teens hanging around the parking lot” around 11 p.m. Aug. 1.
An officer spoke to one of the teens, who said the other adults and some juveniles were just eating Frosties.
While speaking to officers, an employee came out and yelled at the man for leaning on her car.


SUSPICIOUS, HILL DRIVE: A sword-carrying man walking down the road with his mother 10:42 p.m. Aug. 2 was spotted by an officer on patrol.
The man, 24, who lives on the street, was carrying the 3-foot sword upright, with it resting on his shoulder.
When the police car pulled along side of the man he threw the weapon in a resident’s lawn.
The man, 24, said he had the sword in case coyotes attacked them.
He was told he was carrying it in an unsafe manner and he was advised to take it home before continuing his walk.
 
GROUNDHOGS, WEST SMITH: A resident spoke with police July 16 about a neighbor that was feeding groundhogs in the area. An officer told the accuser that it was not illegal to feed groundhogs.


THEFT, YORK ROAD FIELDS: Two vehicles parked at York Road Fields the evening of July 16 were targets of thieves.The owner of a Ford Escape found a back window smashed. Missing was a bag containing a hat, wipes, an umbrella and tissues.The owner of a Lincoln Navigator found the passenger side window smashed. Missing was a pink first aid kit that resembled a purse.

SUSPICION, CEDAR ROAD: The assistant manager at The Children’s Place found a box of bullets in a shipment of clothing July 20. The ammunition was turned over to police.

DISTURBANCE, COOK AVENUE: Police were told of a possible fight at Zellers Elementary School around 2 p.m. July 24, involving three kids. Turns out the kids were friends, and were doing their best chiropractor imitation by trying to crack one’s back.

NOISE DISTURBANCE, PEARL ROAD: Police responded to a complaint of loud music and fireworks near the Strongsville VFW Hall around 9:30 p.m. July 28. When officers arrived, they found an "extremely loud" 70th birthday party in full swing. The homeowner was advised if the police had to return he would be ticketed.

So '70s
Police were called to McDonald's about 7:50 p.m. Aug. 1 about a group of boys throwing a guitar around in the parking lot and in the bank next door.
Officers questioned one teen, who said he just wanted to smash an old guitar.
Police made him clean up all the mess.

I want a potato! — Stow Police arrested a 28-year-old man on July 24 because he was furious about being denied a baked potato. He was at Wendy's around 9 p.m. and became irate when an employee told him the restaurant was out of potatoes. He began shouting profanities, prompting the staff to call police.
He was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

4 comments:

  1. The homeowner was advised if the police had to return he would be ticketed.

    GET OFFA YOUR LAWN!
    ~

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  2. Stow Guy's not gonna fulfill his Destiny.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am waiting for my case to come up
    and I am waiting
    for a rebirth of wonder
    and I am waiting
    for someone to really discover America
    and wail
    and I am waiting
    for the discovery
    of a new symbolic western frontier
    and I am waiting
    for the American Eagle
    to really spread its wings
    and straighten up and fly right
    and I am waiting
    for the Age of Anxiety
    to drop dead
    and I am waiting
    for the war to be fought
    which will make the world safe
    for anarchy
    and I am waiting
    for the final withering away
    of all governments
    and I am perpetually awaiting
    a rebirth of wonder

    I am waiting for the Second Coming
    and I am waiting
    for a religious revival
    to sweep through the state of Arizona
    and I am waiting
    for the Grapes of Wrath to be stored
    and I am waiting
    for them to prove
    that God is really American
    and I am waiting
    to see God on television
    piped’ onto church altars
    if only they can find
    the right channel
    to tune in on
    and I am waiting
    for the Last Supper to be served again
    with a strange new appetizer
    and I am perpetually awaiting
    a rebirth of wonder

    I am waiting for my number to be called
    and I am waiting
    for the Salvation Army to take over
    and I am waiting
    for the meek to be blessed
    and inherit the earth
    without taxes and I am waiting
    for forests and animals
    to reclaim the earth as theirs
    and I am waiting
    for a way to be devised
    to destroy all nationalisms
    without killing anybody
    and I am waiting
    for linnets and planets to fall like rain
    and I am waiting for lovers and weepers
    to lie down together again
    in a new rebirth of wonder

    I am waiting for the Great Divide to ‘be crossed
    and I am anxiously waiting
    for the secret of eternal life to be discovered
    by an obscure general practitioner
    and I am waiting
    for the storms of life
    to be over
    and I am waiting
    to set sail for happiness
    and I am waiting
    for a reconstructed Mayflower
    to reach America
    with its picture story and tv rights
    sold in advance to the natives
    and I am waiting
    for the lost music to sound again
    in the Lost Continent
    in a new rebirth of wonder

    I am waiting for the day
    that maketh all things clear
    and I am awaiting retribution
    for what America did
    to Tom Sawyer
    and I am waiting
    for the American Boy
    to take off Beauty’s clothes
    and get on top of her
    and I am waiting
    for Alice in Wonderland
    to retransmit to me
    her total dream of innocence
    and I am waiting
    for Childe Roland to come
    to the final darkest tower
    and I am waiting
    for Aphrodite
    to grow live arms
    at a final disarmament conference
    in a new rebirth of wonder

    I am waiting
    to get some intimations
    of immortality
    by recollecting my early childhood
    and I am waiting
    for the green mornings to come again
    youth’s dumb green fields come back again
    and I am waiting
    for some strains of unpremeditated art
    to shake my typewriter
    and I am waiting to write
    the great indelible poem
    and I am waiting
    for the last long careless rapture
    and I am perpetually waiting
    for the fleeing lovers on the Grecian Urn
    to catch each other up at last
    and embrace
    and I am waiting
    perpetually and forever
    a renaissance of wonder

    -Lawrence Ferlinghetti

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    Replies
    1. I'm not huge into the Beats but I love Ferlinghetti!~

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