Wednesday, July 11, 2012

give me little bits of more than I can take

An accidental christening of the new perky and lightly colored office carpet with the elixir of St. Drogo meant some dismay on the parts of the powers that be and now I have a brand spanking new desk mug with a lid so I don't spill again, because this new corporate floor covering is evidently really damn special and the greatest thing that happened in years. It's not some priceless rug from Tabriz, for heaven's sake, just some generically patterned thing with a corporatey buzzword name like "Synergy" or "Media-Fest" or "Follow That Dream" that evidently make some people who have nothing better to think about really happy.

 It's not the first time I've gotten treated like the baby of the workplace family and this in particular,  makes me feel like a little kid that's gotten used to drinking out of the glass, spilled some Hawaiian punch on the Persian rug and has now been demoted back to sippy-cup status. Evidently everyone else has one now too,which I guess is supposed to not single me out, but everyone also seems to know that I was the first to spill coffee on the brand new carpet. Because no one's ever spilled coffee on a carpet ever before in all of recorded history. Seriously.
as if this wasn't enough, I received an electronic transmission that was sent at midnight last night, as if this horse wasn't beaten enough to a bloody pulp already...  At this point, it's just hilarious. 



    Being the adolescent jerk that I am, I'd totally make a blatant libation on the Carpet of Coming Alive With Synergy, but you'd get blamed for it.

  2. You realize how many underpaid chinese workers it took to make that carpet?

    So they were too cheap to treat it with stain guard first? Though so.

  3. You could have told them you were starting a clean-up of the formaldehyde it was soaked in before delivery.

  4. Budding Jackson Pollackism using new medium.