theory and practice

Last night I drank an Irish coffee and met new people, and talked about things that are somewhat meaningful, and loved the passion that everyone had even if the things that really move my soul are other things.

And it's amazing how people will see what they want to see in your words, whether they assume you're in agreement and therefore do not listen or when they take your dissent from their point of view somehow personally, because history may be miscronstrued and twisted but the facts themselves don't lie.

Oh are you just being fatalistic? You say it doesn't matter because God will come back someday and everything will be ok? Everything's the same so why bother to change things, because this is the way it's always been and you live in the most powerful country in the world and they're imperialist and you don't do anything to change that because you don't have a problem with it, unlike me, from somewhere else that's not so important. You'd rather sit passive on the sidelines because you don't care.

Because nothing says mature and classy like twisting my words, seeing what you want to see, and resorting to ad hominem attacks without any knowledge of how I live my life or how I feel. My belief in the cycle of history, of the unchangingness of human nature, the way that lust for money and power drive the ambitious of the world, that the technology advances and the cast changes, but fundamentally, the cycle remains unchanged, doesn't mean that I think this is good or okay or something to stand by and watch idly. It's just an observation. The strong prey on the weak, those imbued with a sense of their own rightness often force that on others at the threat of sword or gun or nuke. If you listened to my words you'd know that this kind of thing makes me mad as hell.

Also, maybe it's that you're resenting my punching holes in your straw men and bringing up truth that shreds your theories? That the egalitarian French revolutionaires screwed over Haiti, that while Washington bullets destroyed a lot of lives, so did the ones made by Soviets, especially in the Ogaden, where weaponry was sold to both the Siad Barre and the Mengistu dictatorships so socialists could kill each other and anyone who was in the way.

and what if an Israeli rocket fell on your house and killed your family, what would you do? You'd probably just stand there and do nothing wouldn't you? Because you think that's just the way it is. 

Look, when 9/11 happened, I wasn't crying out for blood vengeance. I'm still not. I grieved the loss of life here and hoped for soul-searching on the part of my countrymen in hopes that maybe we'd wake up and see what a wreck we make of the world. It's just not how I roll. I try to do that whole love enemies and pray for them because I'm a crazy fundie and try to live out this crazy stuff that makes no sense and goes against my most primal impulses. I try to practice this forgiveness thing and I feel ashamed of what my country has been and what it has become, and the perpetuation of these violent cycles.

But that means nothing to you. This is the inverse of the Jack Bauer Scenario that justified torture for suburbanites everywhere. Whatever. So much for discussion in higher education. This is why I can't bring myself to actually go back to school. Dumbassery like this on the part of both teacher and student. I am caught between polemics and platitudes, and neither reflects the reality of what I read, what I've learned, and what I see played out in my own small microcosm and on the world stage.

Acknowledgement is not the same as acquiescence, and if you took the time to listen to what I was actually saying, maybe that'd make sense, but since I don't believe in a socialist utopia where all the oppressed people come together to take down The Man without there being a followup of purges and reigns of terror, I'm somehow responsible for all the the stoogery of my own country. You accuse me of  generalizing an entire religion, an entire group of people without knowing a damn thing about my circle of friends or my life outside of the hallowed halls, and you generalize me for happening to be born in this country. How fair is that? Not very.