Wednesday, April 2, 2014

really should be leaving but I stay...

 The kids made me laugh tonight, the youngest one hamming it up and inventing games with me, it was good to be around that kind of love, and I realize that not everyone ends up with families that they enjoy being around, especially after a long day of a throbbing jaw.

I stop at a friend's to talk things out about upcoming summer things, resolving the small stresses that I can, knowing that it's that time when I find everything fraught with implication and what seems to mean a lot means nothing at all, and what seems to mean nothing really means something. Something about this time of the year brings out the intense and irrational loneliness that's absurd when surrounded by so much love, and maybe part of the ache comes from denying the truth of these feelings for so long.

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