The ideal bandmate is not one that can play well and with whom you have musical chemistry, oh no, you want a submissive yet manic pixie dream girl with really cute hair, a well-placed facial piercing or some kind of artsy tattoo, and an urban outfitters wardrobe who is adorable and twee and won't argue with you. If you are into the heavier end of things, you want a skanky metal chick with long hair, preferably in a bustier playing keyboard or some other nonessential instrument so you don't get shown up, who has to look good even if you look like you haven't left the house in ten years and have subsisted on a diet of Doritos and videogames.
Or, you're the spouse or significant other of someone in the band. You can't just be friends. And as I think about this, there usually seems to be some kind of romantic connection between the female in the band and one of the dudes, even in totally awesome bands that I like. And if you're a single girl, if you take charge, if you don't play up your sexuality, you're probably either a total bitch or a crazy chick or you're not into dudes.
This has been my constant complaint as long as I've been a musician, that the same attitudes keep popping up no matter the genre, no matter the personalities, no matter whatever. Maybe it's just the way it is, but I don't like the way it is.