something that I said

I took some vacay time this week to get out in the sun, and we ended up out in Oberlin but got all weirded out by the Stepford-hippie vibes and feeling vaguely old among all the the neurotic rich college kids so we took a long drive through the countryside and ended up back in more familiar territory, maybe it was a waste of an afternoon because it was beautiful out and we never did get to the woods, but it felt good to get out of the Slab early for once, especially given that I'm at odds with a particular coworker who's decided that I'm at the top of her shitlist to the point where we don't work service points together anymore after this week. She says I'm crazy, but we all know she's lazy, so there's far worse dragging through the mud I've experienced than this time.

Three of us got together to play music the other night, and it sounded good and so far the new bandmate is making good to let me steer things in another direction, which is probably a good bit heavier than what he's used to and I find myself asking for less jangle and more chorus and the results are satisfying. I find I like the lower registers more, not as much of the treble, and that's a personal thing. I can see potential problems ahead despite how well it went, but I also see potential. Only time will tell, I guess. In the meantime, it's the most satisfying noise I've made in years, especially as the colder months come. And then last night I'm given a pile of Hungarian dances and Ukrainian folk music to learn and I only hope I can play it as well as he does someday.

I'm bundling up in layers of hoodies, diving underneath a pile of covers every night, crawling out to answer the phone which was ringing late thanks to my night owl people and second-shifters. One of my near and dears is moving in upstairs from me, which given our past history, (that time he put out that fire, that time he drove me home when I crashed my car, that time he confronted a guy who tried to steal my car, the time he let me bail out of an abandoned building ahead of him when we realized we weren't the only people in there, the time he came along with me to evict a crazy roommate and then helped out some deaf girl whose car broke down in the hood) makes me thankful as he's been around in the good times and the very bad.

I am too tired last night though, to have him come over, the running sleep deficit and the encroaching coldness made me surrender to turning on the thermostat, and not vacate the couch, where I've fallen asleep covered in blankets with the CD changer full of Dead Can Dance as the thunder shakes the house and I wake up hours later to the first autumn snow.

These times of the year make my soul more introverted and seeking, I read more poetry, drink more tea, journal more. I make more art, I write more, the solitude is easier to embrace on darker days.